Thoughts

Can I love the way i should?

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:30:35 +0500

The golden rule is so much more than what I normally think. I was reading Luke Chapter 6 the other day and realized that it’s full of impossible commands:

“Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, pray for those who mistreat you...”

Who can do this...really? In theory we can pray for those enemies that live far away from us. It’s relatively easy to pray that God would do something about the Taliban, you aren’t obligated to live next door to or eat dinner with the Taliban. I’m finding it much more difficult to extend grace to people who laugh at me when I attempt to speak their language, men who leer at me even though I’m wearing a huge black robe and have my head covered so tightly it’s sometimes hard to hear, people in the marketplace who are always looking for a way to take advantage of me. What do I do with these people?!

When I feel belittled, demeaned or fooled, mercy and prayer are the farthest things from my mine. I find instead that i’m searching for ways to defend myself, I’m thinking of all the reasons they’re wrong...I’m right. That’s basically the opposite of what Jesus is asking each of us to do...but how?

That’s what I’m asking myself and God lately. How can I be more filled with the Spirit so that that when these things come up (which they most certainly will on a daily basis), my reaction looks less like self defense and more like love.

If you want to be beautiful....SUFFER!

Wed, 2 Mar 2011 15:56:23 +0500

Some of the things that stick with me the most from my childhood are memorable things my mom said. Everyday before school when I was young, my mom would brush my hair, and everyday I would cry when she would brush out the tangles from the night before.

I can imagine it got quite tiresome to listen to the whines and cries of three girls every morning, and so this became my mother’s mantra. First, she would ask us, “do you want to be beautiful?”, the obvious answer for us being “Yes”. She would reply “then suffer!”. I laugh now thinking about what she said and realize that in many ways, it’s true!

Of course there are all the crazy things women do to try and keep themselves looking nice, but I guess I’m thinking more about inner beauty. In order to see, feel, and be real change, something has to suffer..something has to die.

Living out of my comfort zone makes it easy see the ugly on the inside...the pride, selfishness, deceit, anger...need I go on? If I want to continue to grow into the beauty of the one who created me, then these ugly things have to suffer...which means a little suffering on my part too.

Gotta keep telling myself it’s worth it...that the light and momentary trials are worth the beauty and rest on the other side.

When in Rome....dress as the Romans.

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 12:59:54 +0500

Hope this video helps you understand a little more what my life is like here! Just click on the “read more” link to view.

Transformation

Mon, 1 Feb 2010 12:24:44 +0500

When I think about all the work that was done on my home, I’m exhausted, thankful and overwhelmed.

Exhausted because it was a lot of work (most of which I did not do myself), but mentally adjusting to the way a single woman must communicate did exhaust me. It’s not appropriate for me to call the plumber, carpenter or mason, or even to talk to them alone. So one of the men that works in our NGO office helped me manage all the work. Needless to say working through a middle man (although i’m very thankful for him) is a big adjustment.

Thankful because there was a time in my first few months here that I and others were not sure that I would be able to find a home in the neighborhood were I work. Everyone’s pretty sure I’m the only single foreign lady in a six mile radius that lives alone. It’s no small thing to have a place of my own, close to my office, and enough space to hold large gatherings of friends!

Overwhelmed because when i think of all the work that was done to my home, it makes me realize that there were at least 10 people living in the home before me that didn’t have a kitchen or a gas line, or reliable water supply or good wiring for electricity...And i wonder where they live now.

Praying that this place would be a home of peace and retreat not only for me but for other ladies in my community.

A Christmas Story

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:57:36 +0500

Yes, Christmas is over, but celebrating in my new home was quite different, as you would expect, and thought you might find this experience of interest.

You might find it surprising that there are some Christians here in Pakistan. They are most definitely a minority (2% of population), but they are here. Most of them are "born" Christian, or born into Christian families.

On sundays I have been attending a church here that is part of the Anglican church (so quite different from what i am used to, but still the Body). I invited a friend from my neighborhood to come with me to the Christmas day service and she accepted. I've been told by other foreign friends that this is quite unusual for this lady since she's not accustomed to leaving her neighborhood or trying new things of this nature.

In my neighborhood, it is customary to wear the burka (big black coat and head scarf), so when traveling to church it was no different. Both my friend and i were in our burkas. Because of neighborhood gossip, she asked that the rickshaw drop us off a block away from church so that he wouldn't know where we were going (for fear news would get back to the rest of the family).

When we arrived at church, the man handing out the order of service asked "can i help you?". I told him we were here to attend the service. He was stunned and speechless for a min, then asked why we had come in burka. I told him plainly we were from Lyari (my neighborhood), and he reluctantly gave us a program.

It felt very strange. Although as a foreigner i am stared at quite a lot, this time I was not being stared at because I was a foreigner, but because i was assumed to be Muslim. When the time for communion came, I abstained because I felt like it might cause trouble.

After the service people were friendly to me and my friend, but the experience was altogether enlightening. Makes me want to pray for more unity here...as in my view the Church should be a place that ANYONE can come. I think it also might show how isolated the church has become, and from what i've heard fearful (this is not without good cause).

Yes, Christmas is over, but celebrating in my new home was quite different, as you would expect, and thought you might find this experience of interest.

You might find it surprising that there are some Christians here in Pakistan. They are most definitely a minority (2% of population), but they are here. Most of them are "born" Christian, or born into Christian families.

On sundays I have been attending a church here that is part of the Anglican church (so quite different from what i am used to, but still the Body). I invited a friend from my neighborhood to come with me to the Christmas day service and she accepted. I've been told by other foreign friends that this is quite unusual for this lady since she's not accustomed to leaving her neighborhood or trying new things of this nature.

In my neighborhood, it is customary to wear the burka (big black coat and head scarf), so when traveling to church it was no different. Both my friend and i were in our burkas. Because of neighborhood gossip, she asked that the rickshaw drop us off a block away from church so that he wouldn't know where we were going (for fear news would get back to the rest of the family).

When we arrived at church, the man handing out the order of service asked "can i help you?". I told him we were here to attend the service. He was stunned and speechless for a min, then asked why we had come in burka. I told him plainly we were from Lyari (my neighborhood), and he reluctantly gave us a program.

It felt very strange. Although as a foreigner i am stared at quite a lot, this time I was not being stared at because I was a foreigner, but because i was assumed to be Muslim. When the time for communion came, I abstained because I felt like it might cause trouble.

After the service people were friendly to me and my friend, but the experience was altogether enlightening. Makes me want to pray for more unity here...as in my view the Church should be a place that ANYONE can come. I think it also might show how isolated the church has become, and from what i've heard fearful (this is not without good cause).

I wonder how this story might be different in the American church. What kind of people would we be hesitant to accept into our fellowship?